for Breonna Taylor
There may come a time
Where I may need
To shoot a motherfucker
This is not a new revelation
This is a resolution
I didn’t have a choice in making
A verdict passed
When the good Lord
Put me in this skin
Split me between my legs
The good Lord gave
A sermon
He told me to love when it’s hard
I almost believed him
We play house
Pretend like we can put our differences aside
I go to the store and smile at a white man behind the register
With a gaping hole in my chest
I smile at him politely
And pretend that he didn’t put it there
I stopped smiling
The day ku klux ken dolls
Came into a little black girl’s dollhouse
Broke her spine
The whole world watched
As she died
Folded over herself like a rag doll
I clutched my empty womb
Cloaked myself in black
I lay preemptively in mourning
I see my children
Dead before I ever knew them
Every night on evening news
They are phantoms
I long to hold
I bought a gun because
Regret is
The way old dogs howl in their sleep
It’s the scars on my mother’s mother’s back
I stopped praying
The first time I saw the Body of Christ
glinting silver
Wrapped tightly around
the porcelain neck
Of my boogie man
Mekleit Dix
Mekleit Dix (she/her) is a researcher and poet based in New York and Los Angeles. Her research revolves around the cultural understanding of sexual wellness within Black communities. As a poet and writer, Mekleit's words have been featured in A Garden of Black Joy: Global Poetry From the Edges of Liberation and Living, The Black Youth Project, and Lesbians Are Miracles.
