the “no-homo” men
the “I just let the suds slide down my ass crack, so I don’t have to touch my asshole” men
the “I won’t eat a hotdog” men
the “that’s gay” men
the “I’m not gay, but…” men
the “you’re so brave, it must be so hard for you” men
the “two-in-the-pink-one-in-the-stink” men
the “I sit to pee, so I don’t even have to touch it” men
the “I don’t go down on my girl because that’s gay” men
the “you just haven’t met the right woman yet” men
the “how do you know you aren’t straight” men
the “who’s the woman and who’s the man” men
the “just don’t hit on me” men
the “I won’t suck on a lollipop” men
the “I watch lesbian porn so I don’t have to see a dick” men
the “you just haven’t met the right guy” men
the “I don’t like my woman to use sex toys because it’s too much competition” men
the “God created two genders” men
the “Amen” men
the “she just needs a dick inside her” men
the “the only purpose humans have is to reproduce” men
the “I’ve also experimented” men
the “women would trust me more if I were gay” men
the “I won’t eat a banana” men
the “I don’t wipe because I don’t want to touch my asshole” men
the “pre-op or post-op” men
the “yes, but…” men
the “not all men” men
Arnaldo Batista
Arnaldo Batista is a queer, Latinx poet from Miami, FL. He is the editor of FIU's Gulf Stream Magazine and also teaches math to high school students who find him pretty lame. His work is forthcoming in Prairie Schooner and the Gulf Coast Journal, has been published by Arlington Journal, Slag Glass City, and Pank, and has also been nominated for 2023's Best of the Net for his nonfiction work.
