Yours (Truly), Your Body
I’m writing because you’ve been asking me what happened. Right now, the only answer I can give you is that I tried to save you. When it started, you were so little. You had fallen fast asleep, but I woke up when it started. How could I not? That’s my …
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The Best Defense
I know my room like the back of my hand. Better, even. My hand continues to grow and change with the rest of me, but my room remains the same. The headboard on the loft bed that I got for my fourth birthday still has stains from where I would …
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Cloud-to-Ground
The thunder says, I’m here for you. I’m here with you. You are not alone. Don’t be afraid. I was wakeboarding last summer. When I say I was wakeboarding what I really mean is I was pulling myself upright once or twice, but mainly crashing gloriously into the lake. It …
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Magical Realism
One New York winter day, three separate women on three separate occasions asked where I was from. The first was a Black woman, a receptionist at the NYU dental clinic. We’d always had pleasant exchanges. That day, she complimented me on my hair. It was the longest it had ever …
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Unbridled
They call me “horse-girl” at recess. “Thank you,” I say, and gallop away on my wrong two feet. The wind in my mane, I imagine how my arms would move if they too reached for the ground, hooves instead of toenails cutting into the loam as I leap over a …
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Removing the Noose
My father had borderline personality disorder. That meant a lot of things, but mostly it meant that he couldn’t stand to be alone. My father had intercoms around the house. Silver boxes that he set next to the bathroom toilet, on the countertop, and next to the kitchen faucet. He …
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The Incident with the White Sneakers
My brand-new sneakers are white and radiant. My mother bought them a few days ago, and this is the first time I get to wear them. (I have come to refer to the events that surrounded them as “The Incident with the White Sneakers.”) The man said to meet him …
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Scarred
The pop from my ankle cracked like a gunshot—audible to everyone but me. The music abruptly silenced. In that frozen instant, hovering on one leg (for once not trying to hold my balance, just miraculously stable) and looking down at my slightly raised foot, a crystal clear voice punctured the …
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You Can Stop Now
The year 2009 took more than it gave. In a season of financial earthquakes and drought, I stood in front of ATMs, staring at a negative balance. After community college, I had three jobs and no chance at a university. Student loans seemed like a reality for people who had …
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Hideous
“Take this baby back! Check again! Find the one which looks like me!” My mother waved meticulously manicured hands, dismissing me like an unwanted shrimp cocktail. The story played for hilarity, and I always laughed along. My mother, a single parent for almost a year at this point, presided nightly …
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